50 Shades of Stroke – Change

.Those of you who have had a stroke are no strangers to the fluctuations regarding good days and not so good days. In this case I’m not talking about emotionally but physically. How, following a good day the next day you can wake up feeling really quite unwell, yet reflecting on the previous day there isn’t anything that immediately jumps out at you as being the direct cause for this change.

You mull things over, being really honest with yourself, trying to get to the route cause so as to be able to eliminate days such as these, and still nothing comes to mind. This is one of the many complexities and frustrations of stroke, that despite your determination and will to do all the right things to improve your situation, some days it is simply totally out of our control and impossible to fathom out as to why.

If you are like me, even after several years you find this difficult to accept. I still wish to achieve things each day, however small they may be. When I go to bed at night, I want to be able to reflect and think I achieved something, whether it was a little more physio, some painting, make something in the slow cooker.

All very simple and minor accomplishments, compared to the old days but still quite an achievement, one to be proud of.

If there is a day I haven’t managed such an achievement I feel quite frustrated. This is when I need to work on myself mentally and remind myself just how far I have come, how much I have achieved and hopefully accept that today nothing is going to be possible, but hopefully tomorrow will be different.

Also if I choose to look at this slightly differently, then I have still achieved something, the ability to accept, listen to my body and give it the time and rest it requires even if I don’t have the answers as to why this keeps happening. Is it really such a huge problem that I don’t have the answer, it maybe it’s back to me taking two steps back in order to move forward.

So I shall relax, sleep, if need be and read a little. Start thinking of purple foods in preparation of making May purple.

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